In October Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Elder David A. Bednar said that we should “become more diligent and concerned at home by telling the people we love that we love them.”  He quotes President Thomas S. Monson, “Often we assume that [the people around us] must know how much we love them.  But we should never assume; we should let them know…We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown.  Rather our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us.”

Most of the time, I think I am good (not perfect) about telling my family members how much I love them.  However, I don’t think that I am very good at letting dear friends know how much I love them.  During the summer of 1990 we moved back to Kingwood, Texas from Saudi Arabia.  Many other new families moved into our ward that same year and we all became close as we raised our children together.  One friend often called me for what she called a “reality check” to see if what she was doing with her children made sense or was way off base.  Many times, as we said good bye I felt like saying, “I love you” but I never did, fearing it would sound strange to her.

Earlier this year, two of those dear friends from our time in Kingwood, the Scoffield’s, moved to Tokyo.  Jo was my Relief Society President and Kelly was our Bishop for a time.  Our oldest daughter, Allyson, cared for their three girls from time to time.  Andrew and their daughter, Teigan were good friends and Jo became Kristina’s Young Women leader.  So, we were very excited to see them again and to have them in our Tokyo Ward.

Last month, my friend Jo had a heart attack and spent almost the entire month in the hospital.  After my first hospital visit, I realized that it was important for her to know that I loved her and so I told her.  I told her each time that I visited her.  Since then, I have wondered why I am not better at letting people outside of my family know that I love them.  I think it’s because I worry about what they will think.  From now on, I am going to follow President Monson’s  advice and express my love and not assume that they know how I feel.  I don’t want to have any regrets.


  1. Beautiful post, thank you!

  2. I loved this talk and I love your thoughts on it. I agree, why is it so hard to say it to our dear friends. I have one friend whom I started saying it to at one point, and now we say it almost every time we talk on the phone. I wish I could get away from my fear and do that with others!

  3. What a wonderful and culturally enriched life you lead. I think it is great you take the time (and long plane rides) to be at special events and with family.

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